I Don’t Play or Behave Like My Characters: Random Differences I’ve Noticed Between Me and Them

This is a random rambling post of my thoughts.

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I was recently thinking how the characters in my stories engage in spanking, relationships (and so on) often differently than I do, sometimes in funny little ways and sometimes in bigger broader ways.

I’m not entirely sure why this is, and for some things it may be different reasons than for others. Broadly, I think a lot of the differences are often because of these 2 things:

One, is that I began writing spanking stories before I was able to engage (much or in any significant way) with spanking in my real life. Therefore there was some projection of how I envisioned things that has been different than reality. Not necessarily hugely different. Sometimes just slightly different. Especially when it comes to series, I’ve often kept with the same thing/vibe due to continuity.

Two, is that my characters often exist in a different world to ours, with different rules. Many of my characters are not self-aware spankos (and even those that are, not all of them are to a full degree). Even the stories set in the present day in our world often have a form of minor alternate reality where it’s basically our world, but where spankings between adults is more common and mainstream. Sometimes within the story, my characters are doing things that I might roleplay, but would not be taking place ‘for real’ in my real life in the real reality. So it’s not going to be quite the same as how real me actually plays.

Anyway, here are some things I’ve noticed that my characters (not necessarily all of them, but some or many of them) do differently than me, or things about my characters that are different than me:

My characters aren’t (necessarily) spankos

So, I mentioned this in my intro already. But my characters are often not always written as people with spanking fetishes. At least not people who are fully aware of this. Often they inhabit some form of alternate reality where spanking as discipline among adults is slightly more mainstream than it is in the actual real world, even when they’re set in our world. This isn’t the case with every story, and some of my characters are written as spankos, and some of them are aware of what they’re into in that way.

My characters tend to only use one implement per spanking

When I play, I most commonly seem to spank or be spanked by at least 2 or 3 different implements (plus the hand which, for the purpose of this point, I am not counting as an implement), and sometimes more. I once did a session where we tried out more than 10 different implements in one spanking session. Occasionally only one may be used, but I’d say my most common number of implements to use or have used on me is 2 or 3. I don’t know why. It just seems to go like that.

On the other hand, my characters overwhelmingly only ever use one implement per spanking. Even when they clearly own more implements as they’re used in other spankings in the series, only one is generally picked for use per spanking.

I think this one is probably one of the things that is this way because it’s how I imagined spankings before playing myself. And I’ve just kept it that way in storyland forever more. (And some people may play this way. I don’t think it’s unrealistic. It’s just not what I do).

My characters don’t own many implements

On a similar point to the above, my characters also tend not to own loads of implements. It’s rare for any of my characters to be described in my stories as having more than 2 different implements to choose from.

Often I associate characters with different sorts of implements and when I write them, that’s always what they use.

However for me, I personally own at least 10 implements (and I’ve definitely forgotten to count some). And I don’t even have a big collection compared to many people I know or play with!

When I first started writing, I think I underestimated how easy it was to just keep acquiring implements… uh.. ‘accidentally’. Also, this may relate to not all of my characters being written specifically as spankos.

My characters are usually in established relationships

I am in my early 30s (at the time of writing this post), single, and have never had a romantic relationship of any length, ever. The majority of my play partners are friends with whom I engage in spanking with. None of them are my significant other. One of these friends came up with the term ‘friends with consequences’ which I like to describe this. Sort of like how some people use ‘friends with benefits’ for sex stuff. Also, while I am not opposed to having a relationship, I am not actively searching for one.

So it’s interesting that my characters are overwhelmingly in established relationships and primarily engage in spanking mostly or only with their significant other. This isn’t true of all my stories, but is for many of them. My characters who are single (at any part of their story) are often seeking to find a romantic partner.

This may be partly as when I first began writing, I didn’t easily picture the set-up I’m in now of having multiple, often casual play partners. I tended to picture spanking as something that would happen primarily between couples, and so that’s how I often tended to write them.

I may move away from this model in a future series or story, but I have no specific plan or story in mind for this.

My characters are (sometimes) more monogamous than I am

I’m not especially monogamous minded in my approach to relationships, etc. For spanking, I play with various different people and I would be reluctant to enter into a monogamous relationship or dynamic that didn’t continue to allow me to play with my established spanking friends, or at parties.  

But my characters tend to be more likely to behave a bit more in line with the mainstream when it comes to monogamy. That said, they’re usually not strictly monogamous. They do sometimes engage in spanking outside of their primary relationship. I suppose many of my characters are somewhat monogamish even if not totally monogamous.

My characters don’t often look at their own butt after being spanked, and don’t take pics

When I get spanked, I often get a photo taken afterwards of my spanked bottom! Some of these I share with other people, but not all of them. It depends on the photo and how I feel.

I definitely always at least have a good old look in my butt in the mirror!

While my characters have sometimes had a peek in the mirror, I don’t think I’ve ever specifically written in them photographing or having someone photograph their spanked bottom for them! I might… but so far I don’t think I have.

Again, this one probably goes back to many of my characters not being written as spankos, and also that before I played much myself, I don’t think I considered how often I’d do this…

My characters cry much more than me

I rarely cry from a spanking, and when I do it’s often more tearful or whimpery than actual proper crying. I haven’t met many people who truly cry when being spanked, at least not often.

However, a high percentage of my stories end with the bottom character sobbing very real tears. It occurs to me that the amount and frequency of crying in my stories has reduced over time, but it’s still a higher degree than my reality.

My characters are punished for more ‘real’ things than I am

I love discipline vibes. They’re like the core of my spanking fetish. I love to do something ‘naughty’ and get ‘punished’.

But I’m also a single almost-32 year old independent adult with a job and a pet and stuff. Despite how I may seem on spanko social media, I’m actually a very organized and depressingly sensible person in many ways. I don’t like to break actual rules, I certainly don’t like to break the law.

And I don’t really use spanking (either as the giver or receiver) as a response to serious things. Truly, I don’t think it is a good method for actual behaviour modification. It’s a fetish I have.

I might spank or get spanked for something like not applying enough suncream. But in my opinion if someone’s, say, drunk and dangerously driving, that’s a serious conversation that this fetish has no part in for me.

If I was going to be spanked for something like that, it would be a roleplay, not for real.

But yeah,  I do love the fantasy of it, even if it has no place in my reality. And so my characters can get spanked for those shockingly real things, and in their version of the world, it may be effective. But it’s not for me in my reality.

My characters are more likely to have more serious scenes than me

Most of the time, if my characters are getting spanked, it’s because they’ve done something (sometimes seriously) wrong and are being punished.

However, often when I am being spanked, it’s because I’m with another friend who’s into what I’m into and part of the reason we’ve met is so we can do that. I might ‘brat’ so they have a ‘reason’ to punish me, or they might have a list of some of my spank-worthy misdemeanors or naughtiness since I last saw them. But the vibe is usually a lot more light hearted than how it is for many of my characters, who are often experiencing true guilt and remorse for the often real and/or serious things they’re being punished for.

My characters aren’t always great at consent

My stories are fantasy, and fiction. I tend to write stories about characters who mutually care about each other and where there is at least some level of implied consent, because that’s the vibe I’m into.

But my stories are not a reflection of reality. They’re not a guide to how people should play in real life. In fact, many of the situations that I find super sweet or super hot in stories would be various degrees of problematic if it played out exactly like that in reality.

I always negotiate before I play, check limits, and check safewords. If I’ve never played with someone before, and don’t know much about how they play, I will have a discussion with them about it to make sure we’re on the same page.  

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That’s everything I can think of for now. If you know how I play and read my stories and think I’ve missed something glaringly obvious, I’d be interested to know!